: Nouvelle Classe De Régner De Dogbert (Dnrc)
De: Scott Adams
Date: 9/94
Nouvelle Classe De Régner
Si vous obtenez ce bulletin directement puis vous êtes déjà
qualifiés être un membre de nouvelle classe de régner de Dogbert
quand il conquiert la planète. Si vous essayiez sans succès de
souscrire à la liste d'expédition, lisez les instructions à
l'extrémité pour quelques extrémités.
Si vous ne pouvez pas encore figurer hors de la façon
obtenir sur la liste, vous êtes probablement un ventilateur " de
cirque de famille " de toute façon et non destiné pour se mélanger
avec la nouvelle classe de régner excepté peut-être en tant qu'aide
domestique.
Mais hé, les maisons propres sont importantes aussi.
Épargnant D'Écran De Dilbert
Bon nombre d'entre vous ont demandé lui. Bientôt vous pourrez
acheter un épargnant d'écran de Dilbert (les Windows ou l'imper),
courtoisie des personnes très fraîches chez Delrina.
Vous pourrez tandis que loin le jour autrement inutile
d'affaires en observant une variété de vignettes éducatifs:
Avocats animés étant battus avec de grands maillets; le secrétaire
avec un Crossbow; Ratbert a enlevé par un aigle d'or; Saint Dogbert
pilotant hors des démons de la stupidité; Dogbert pummeling un MBA
avec roulé vers le haut de l'état de budget; Bob donnant des
wedgies et des sorts de plus.
**time-out** Dilbert écran épargnant disponible pour
vacance saison principal au détail magasin de détail et par
correspondance vente, mais dans moyen temps si vous avoir tout
question, sensation librement pour appeler Delrina 1-800-268-6082.
Censure de Dilbert?
Dépendant où vous étiez, il a vu un Dilbert différent le 1er
août. Nous avons offert aux journaux une bande alternative au cas
où ils étaient inconfortables avec ma version préférée pour ce
jour.
Le Dogbert décrit par bande préféré aidant la compagnie
de Dilbert choisissent un nouveau nom de pointe. Dogbert a utilisé
un ordinateur pour produire aléatoirement des mots de l'astronomie et
de l'électronique, finalement étant soulevées avec l'" Uranus
nommé Hertz. "
Certains ont pleuré " censure " quand elles ont noté que
quelques journaux ont exécuté le remplacement. Mais ce n'était pas
un cas de censure.
C'est seulement censure si la suppression est pour des
raisons morales. Dans ce cas-ci quelques éditeurs de journal ont
pensé que le dessin animé de remplacement était meilleur pour leurs
lecteurs. C'est édition juste, pas censure, et il est correct avec
moi.
Cravate De Dilbert
Ok, ok. Quelle est l'affaire avec la cravate de Dilbert?
En tant que plupart d'entre vous savez, dans le premier
bulletin I de Dilbert dit quand Dilbert la cravate que perky est
allée molle il serait un signe que Dilbert est devenu chanceux. Le 9
août la cravate se dirige au sud.
Mais il y avait quelques ambiguïtés: Liz a dit qu'elle ne
deviendrait pas physique avant mariage; alors Dilbert a attribué son
état détendu à devenir un Unitarian. Beaucoup de lecteurs étaient
confus.
Certaines des théories j'ai passé le E-mail inclus:
- Peut-être Liz est marié.
- Peut-être Liz a changé d'avis et a pris l'innocence de
Dilbert.
- Peut-être Dilbert a remplacé sa convoitise par la religion.
- Peut-être " Unitarian " est un calembour et le sexe seul
était... uh....
- Peut-être Liz est un mensonge, peu bruit hypocrite.
- Peut-être le sexe avec Liz était comme une expérience
religieuse.
Ainsi Que S'est vraiment produit?
Bien, il est comme UFOs. (séjour avec moi sur ceci.)
Si vous croyez ce que vous lisez, le ciel est épais avec les
étrangers qui conçoivent des pyramides, bétail disemboweling,
imbibent les personnes rurales et s'amusent généralement à nos
frais.
Mais nous avons également lu que les milliers de personnes
célèbrent des vacances en mettant le feu à des pistolets dans le
ciel. D'un point de vue statistique, vous prévoiriez que beaucoup
d'étrangers se feraient attraper dans la grêle des balles et nous
trouverions leurs corps verts minuscules nous sommes effondrés
partout. Mais je n'ai jamais trouvé un. Et j'ai regardé.
Logiquement puis, les pistolets ne doivent pas exister.
Naturellement, quelques théoriciens de conspiration croient
que les swoops de gouvernement dedans et créent des histoires
raffinées de couverture toutes les fois qu'un étranger débarque
dans quelqu'un le shrubbery. Cette ligne de la pensée dépend de la
notion que le gouvernement est fortement efficace. (je ne sais pas
les théoriciens de conspiration permutent les idées, mais moi devine
qu'elle n'est pas par le courrier.)
But What About Liz?
So that brings us directly to the question of Liz and Dilbert.
Over the summer I've received lots of suggestions about whether Dilbert
should lose his innocence or Liz should be hit by a meteor. Opinions were
divided, but the most persuasive letters basically said:
"Neither option is creative enough."
OUCH!!
But I'd already written myself into a corner.
So I did the only thing you can do when you're trapped in a corner: I
chewed my way through the wall. I broke the unwritten cartoon rules. I shifted responsibility for defining reality...to you.
My solution was to write the comic equivalent of a traffic accident. All
the witnesses see the same event but perceive it differently. Reality is,
after all, subjective. How you interpreted the August 9th strip says a lot about you.
About 18 out of every 20 people saw the limp tie and perceived that Dilbert
lost his innocence. They believed that when Liz said "no" she didn't mean
it or she changed her mind. Maybe some readers trusted me as the authority
figure in this case, and I clearly implied the tie was the sign. Or maybe
they just wanted Dilbert to get lucky. The people in this group buy
lottery tickets and expect to win.
A few of you questioned all of the assumptions. You considered the
possibility that the tie could be down for some other reason. That,
coupled with the pun-like word "Unitarian" led you to believe Dilbert took matters into his own hands. This group took Liz at her word and assumed the author
was trying to pull a fast one (so to speak). This group is composed of
lonely people who are often misdiagnosed as professional tennis players.
(Think about it.)
A small minority of readers distrusted Liz, assuming she must be married
but not to Dilbert. The people in this group voted for Perot and occasionally
find bullet-riddled aliens slumped in their shrubbery.
One Unitarian asked if he could reproduce the August 9th strip for a
recruiting brochure. He will go to heaven.
What Really Happened?
It's a private matter between Dilbert and Liz.
The Future of Liz
You won't see Liz for a few months because I had a bunch of cartoons in the
pipeline before I knew her fate. But she'll return because of popular
demand.
Liz is an engineer too, for a different company. She's an expert on
composite materials. If there are any materials engineers out there, send
me an e-mail with any good buzzwords you'd like to see included.
Dear Dogbert
In this section, Dogbert will answer frequently asked questions which I'm
too
polite to answer myself.
Dear Dogbert:
I noticed that the Dilbert cartoon is available on the Internet. Is it
okay if I copy and distribute it everywhere as long as I don't make any profit?
It seems like this would be good publicity for you.
Dear Moron:
It's apparent that you were raised in some god-forsaken Eastern Bloc
communist country. Let me explain some of the basic concepts of
capitalism.
The best way to learn is by experience. I'd like you to go to your nearest
mall departments store and try your approach to get some free pants.
Don't let them intimidate you with their snooty attitudes. As you well
know, if you wear their pants it's excellent publicity for Macy's. In fact THEY should pay YOU to take their pants. Remember, the only thing that really
matters is that you were considerate enough to ask. Besides, they have
lots of pants and you only have a few pairs.
If this approach does not yield satisfactory results, just grab a pair off
the rack and run for the exit. If you hear a loud alarm as you pass
through the exit it means you have won a prize hog from the store. If you do not see the hog immediately, make loud hog calls until the prize committee
surrounds you (they have maroon uniforms -- can't miss 'em).
As far as the Dilbert strips go, they are copyrighted. That means you
can't copy them without permission from United Media (which generally means
sending them money -- call 800-221-4816).
But you seem like such a nice guy that I'll ask them to send you special
written permission. If you don't get it in a few hours it must be lost at
the Post Office. So call the Surgeon General and complain. And don't
accept her lame excuses about jurisdiction.
Suggestions for the Strip
I continue to get great theme suggestions for the strip and use many of
them.
I especially like stories of office politics, poorly conceived incentive
plans, clueless management techniques, new business fads, amazingly bad
bosses, strange idiosyncrasies and obnoxious corporate policies -- things
that evoke emotional responses.
The best fodder involves what people are thinking, not what they are
saying.
So please don't send dialog suggestions.
You can send suggestions by e-mail to [email protected] or by snail mail
to
Scott Adams, c/o United Media, 200 Park Ave., New York, NY 10166.
Next Newsletter
In the next newsletter I'll defend myself from the cruel accusation that my
e-mail address defines me as a newbie. And I'll tell you how to jockey for
status in Dogbert's new ruling class. (The job of "Minister of Gadgets"
has already been awarded.)
My Support Staff
I still handle all of my e-mail personally, although I recently taught my
cat Sarah to fire up a Flash Session to retrieve my mail from America Online.
(But she has to use "QUICKEYS" so it's hardly noteworthy.)
Other than that, it's still just me and the dust mites. And judging from
their actions, they haven't bought into my mission statement.
***************** General Dilbert Facts *******************
The cartoon strip Dilbert began in 1989. It now appears in 250 papers in 9
countries. The author (that would be me) receives about 50 e-mail messages
per day.
Copying, Reprinting, Licensing of Dilbert
The copyright and trademark for Dilbert are owned by United Media in New
York. You can call them at 800-221-4816 (International callers use
01-212-692-3700). There would be a fee that depends on how you want to use
the strip or the characters.
Dilbert Books
"Build a Better Life by Stealing Office Supplies" (new material about
working
at a big company), Andrews & McMeel. (ISBN 0-8362-1757-8)
"Always Postpone Meetings with Time-Wasting Morons" (a compilation of the
first year), Andrews & McMeel.
(ISBN 0-8362-1758-6)
"Clues for the Clueless" from Andrews and McMeel. It's new material on the
subject of manners using the Dilbert cast. (ISBN 0-8362-1737-3)
A fourth book -- a compilation of the second year of Dilbert -- titled
"Shave
the Whales" is just out in May 1994. It's from Andrews & McMeel.
(ISBN 0-8362-1740-3)
The fifth book is due in Spring of 1995.
Check with any bookstore. If that fails, call the publisher directly at
800-826-4216 and order by mail. (International callers use 01-816-932-6700)
Dilbert Business Videos:
Cohen/Gebler Associates has created a set of short animated Dilbert
business
videos for meetings, workshops and presentations. The videos are based
closely on themes from the strip. They're used primarily as ice breakers.
Six titles are currently available:
- Dilbert on Quality
- Dilbert on Managing Change
- Dilbert Does Sales
- Dilbert Does Meetings
- Just the Breaks #1 (Mingling Groups)
- Just the Breaks #2 (110%).
Prices start at $99.
Call 1-800-208-3535 for more information. (International callers use
01-617-262-4242)
Dilbert Shirts and Mugs:
- Sunday Comics Store at 800-243-8962.
T-Shirt: Dilbert and Dogbert floating in Cyberspace
Sweat Shirt: Dilbert and Dogbert floating in Cyberspace
- Signals Catalog at 800-663-9994
(International callers dial 01-612-659-4312)
Mug: St. Dogbert drives out demons of stupidity
T-Shirt: St. Dogbert drives out demons of stupidity
Sweat Shirt: St. Dogbert drives out demons of stupidity
Dilbert Screen Savers
The Dilbert Screen Saver (Windows or Mac) will be available for the holiday
season at major retail stores and mail order, but in the mean time if you
have any questions, feel free to call Delrina at 1-800-315-5848
(international callers use 1-416-441-3676).
Online Dilbert Sources
- America Online (older daily strips) (Keyword: Dilbert)
- ClariNet: ClariNews service. 1-800-USE-NETS or
[email protected] for subscription info. Daily
current strips.
- World Wide Web:
http://nearnet.gnn.com/gnn/news/comix/dilbert.html
(may not be updated regularly)
Note: None of the Sunday Dilberts are online anywhere yet.
About the Dilbert List
It costs you nothing to be on the Dilbert Newsletter list, except for the
cost of your own e-mail.
I'm using a "List Server" system to automate this process. So this
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If you got a strange message saying you can't change your password, ignore
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Reprinting This Newsletter
Feel free to copy, post and distribute this newsletter within the bounds of
good netiquette. But don't forward copies to Bill Amend because he's still
mad about getting six copies of the first newsletter.
Scott Adams
[email protected]
